A few days ago I typed my woes for all to read. That huge knot of unease stayed in my stomach for dozens of hours with no end on the horizon. And then, I went into the cafeteria and just sat with students and talked. I laughed with them, told jokes with them, talked to them about what they should do because they didn't like the new pizza sticks. Guess what? Before I knew it the knot was gone!
"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man." ~Rabindranath Tagore
Even though I may be discouraged by the politics of the job, the insanity of the job, the conflicts that arise, the children are the reason I am there. That will never change and I can not, will not forget it.............
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Sometimes Leadership Is Like Stepping On a Bug, and I Am the Bug!
Today was one of those days....................meeting about a parent complaint, politics, meeting about curriculum, more politics, conferencing with a frustrated teacher. The best part of my day was at the end when I was talking to a teacher and making plans to work with her while she formulated her lesson plans for next week. That got me excited because it has a direct impact on children!
When I became a principal 5 years ago I envisioned how I would make an impact in the lives of children. Many days, however, I don't feel like I make an impact at all. Many days, leadership feels like I am a roach, hiding from the bug guy, only coming out when the lights are out. Leadership feels like someone is always out to get you.
When you are in charge people feel like it is OK to talk about you. They think it is OK to believe the absolute worst about you. People think it is OK to make things up about you so that they can get their way. I don't believe any of this was in the job description. Am I strong enough to endure the insanities of the job?
I work with an awesome group of staff members and the children bring so much joy in my life. As the teachers try and improve their practice, I have been pushing them and challenging them. For many, this creates stress. Yes, I know the old saying that you know you are changing if you feel uncomfortable. I realize this, but instead I feel more like:
"If you want to make enemies, try to change something". ~Woodrow Wilson
I don't want to create stress in the lives of overworked, overstressed teachers, but at the same time, I know that we must continue to reach every student, every parent. Our job is too important. I am the one that needs to constantly shout the vision. I am the one that needs to challenge and create better opportunities for staff, students and parents. I hope that when I push others to learn something new, that it doesn't feel like a giant shove off of a cliff. But, if I'm not pushing, no gain is made and we are still at the status quo. Status quo is not good enough.
I know that when I make decisions, it is what I think is best for the children. Why can't that be what people see? Why does it have to be the worst? Why can't people realize that I am a human being and make mistakes.
Please forgive me when I make them...............
Being a Christian, I pray for guidance, strength, and courage. Is this the plan that God has for me?
When I became a principal 5 years ago I envisioned how I would make an impact in the lives of children. Many days, however, I don't feel like I make an impact at all. Many days, leadership feels like I am a roach, hiding from the bug guy, only coming out when the lights are out. Leadership feels like someone is always out to get you.
When you are in charge people feel like it is OK to talk about you. They think it is OK to believe the absolute worst about you. People think it is OK to make things up about you so that they can get their way. I don't believe any of this was in the job description. Am I strong enough to endure the insanities of the job?
I work with an awesome group of staff members and the children bring so much joy in my life. As the teachers try and improve their practice, I have been pushing them and challenging them. For many, this creates stress. Yes, I know the old saying that you know you are changing if you feel uncomfortable. I realize this, but instead I feel more like:
"If you want to make enemies, try to change something". ~Woodrow Wilson
I don't want to create stress in the lives of overworked, overstressed teachers, but at the same time, I know that we must continue to reach every student, every parent. Our job is too important. I am the one that needs to constantly shout the vision. I am the one that needs to challenge and create better opportunities for staff, students and parents. I hope that when I push others to learn something new, that it doesn't feel like a giant shove off of a cliff. But, if I'm not pushing, no gain is made and we are still at the status quo. Status quo is not good enough.
I know that when I make decisions, it is what I think is best for the children. Why can't that be what people see? Why does it have to be the worst? Why can't people realize that I am a human being and make mistakes.
Please forgive me when I make them...............
Being a Christian, I pray for guidance, strength, and courage. Is this the plan that God has for me?
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